Wednesday, August 08, 2007
I am Grateful For.....: Well, it's been a little over a year since I've been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and have lived with Kidney Failure. During that time it's been hard to see any positives. Or, admit them anyway. I've kept an eye on the good things that were happening all around me but, I was too angry, too confused, and too busy to acknowledge them. It has taken awhile. And, I by no means totally "there". Nor, do I think I'll ever be totally there. Being pissed off and angry at the disease got me this far. So, I think there's something to be said for that. Anyway, now I've had a chance to reflect on things a little bit and the following are some of the gifts, miracles, and positives that have come out of this so far. They are in no particular order.
1. I've found out how many near and dear friends and family that I have. Without their well wishes, help, support and prayers I don't think I would be where I am at today.
2. I have been blessed to be cared for by some incredible doctors, nurses, health care professionals, etc. And, I'm lucky for the advancements in medicine to date. One example; the bone marrow transplants use to be done via 100's of tiny surgeries through the bone. Now it's done only using an IV drip. They now know that the marrow will automatically migrate to the bone.
3. I'm lucky that my condition was detected relatively early with little to no onset of "major" issues. Many people with Myeloma are first diagnosed when they have severe back pain caused by the growth of liesons on the spine. So far, I have a couple of smaller leisons on my biceps and one in my femur which were treated using radiation.
4. I'm still able to active. There's much I can still do. I can't run anymore. But, now I'm biking. And I'm still playing golf and tennis.
5. I'm still able to be mobile and care for myself. Many people in the dialysis unit need transportation and people to help care for them. I'm fortunate where I can still take care of these things.
6. I only take 6 medications now. At one time I was taking 15-18 different pills a day. I'm now only taking 4 pills for hypertension, 1 for blood thinning, and 1 vitamin.
7. I'm fortunate that a routine echocardiogram detected the blood clot which required the open heart surgery in December. Without that detection I more than likely would've had a stroke, an embalysm, and/or died.
8. My effects from the chemo - all three types - were minimal. The initial Velcade can effect nerves and cause neuropathy (deadening of the nerves on the skin). I only had temporary effects. The latter more severe chemo's made me sick "only" for a "short" time.
9. People at work and my company continued to support me. I'm planning to return to work in a couple of weeks. When I first went down ill I thought I'd be physically and financially ruined. Work, insurance, and Social Security ensured that I remained covered. It was the last thing I needed to think about. It was reassurance I needed at a crazy time.
10. As of now, my diet is "normal". Which means I don't have to limit myself to a renal-only diet. My dietary numbers are all within range. Meaning, earlier on, I had to eliminate foods primarily containing potassium, phosphorus, and sodium. That includes milk, potatoes, tomatoes, brocoli sodas, chips, etc etc etc. There was a lot to cut out. And, I had to take a phosphate binder pill with every meal. I still limit my sodium. But, I've been eating my Jersey Tomatoes!
11. When I go back to work I'll be starting part time. The relief of being able to integrate back in slowly is so welcomed. I like to jump into things with both feet. And sometimes I find that I've jumped into the deep end. This will force me get back into the groove at a decent pace. I think I can handle everything. But, something tells me there will be more to it than I think.
12. This is a little personal but....I'm able to pee (wee!). Many people with kidney failure can't urinate. Most have to limit how much liquids they consume or else their legs swell and water is retained around the heart and lungs (not good). Though, I am mindful of how much I drink. As of now, I'm not really that concerned.
13. I have an appetite and I can eat anything I want. Wow...Remember when I had the phantom abdominal pains??!! I was in so much pain I couldnt eat anything. Nor did I want to. And to top it off, I was on so much pain meds that I was dizzy. It was all I could do. That's a place I don't want to return to.
14. I have a better understanding of myself and what I am capable of doing. If you told me I could've gone through what I've gone through....and come out feeling the way I do....I'd tell you that you were crazy. In addition, I'm more relaxed. I've got a better understanding of what's important. Not necessary the "big picture". But, when I start getting stressed over something in my daily life I ask myself how important is it. Well, I now have a good measuring stick. I've used it alot.
I'm sure there's more. And there will be more to come. But, I'm just happy to be where I'm at right now. I've been through a lot and I'm looking forward to moving on and getting on with my life. And that doesnt mean putting my illness behind me. It really means learning to live with both the Myeloma and the kidney failure. Understanding it and coping with the daily ups and downs. Doing the treatments and care when it's needed but, not letting it keep me from my goals.
I've actually found that I can use it for motivation. Where before I may have been afraid or hesitant, I now find myself doing things more immediately. I find that I'm more confident. And, I'm more complete as a person. I wish I had gained these attributes in another way. But, I can't change it. This is my life. And, I'm going to live it.
Thanks again for everything. You'all are wonderful. Love ya, Lance
1. I've found out how many near and dear friends and family that I have. Without their well wishes, help, support and prayers I don't think I would be where I am at today.
2. I have been blessed to be cared for by some incredible doctors, nurses, health care professionals, etc. And, I'm lucky for the advancements in medicine to date. One example; the bone marrow transplants use to be done via 100's of tiny surgeries through the bone. Now it's done only using an IV drip. They now know that the marrow will automatically migrate to the bone.
3. I'm lucky that my condition was detected relatively early with little to no onset of "major" issues. Many people with Myeloma are first diagnosed when they have severe back pain caused by the growth of liesons on the spine. So far, I have a couple of smaller leisons on my biceps and one in my femur which were treated using radiation.
4. I'm still able to active. There's much I can still do. I can't run anymore. But, now I'm biking. And I'm still playing golf and tennis.
5. I'm still able to be mobile and care for myself. Many people in the dialysis unit need transportation and people to help care for them. I'm fortunate where I can still take care of these things.
6. I only take 6 medications now. At one time I was taking 15-18 different pills a day. I'm now only taking 4 pills for hypertension, 1 for blood thinning, and 1 vitamin.
7. I'm fortunate that a routine echocardiogram detected the blood clot which required the open heart surgery in December. Without that detection I more than likely would've had a stroke, an embalysm, and/or died.
8. My effects from the chemo - all three types - were minimal. The initial Velcade can effect nerves and cause neuropathy (deadening of the nerves on the skin). I only had temporary effects. The latter more severe chemo's made me sick "only" for a "short" time.
9. People at work and my company continued to support me. I'm planning to return to work in a couple of weeks. When I first went down ill I thought I'd be physically and financially ruined. Work, insurance, and Social Security ensured that I remained covered. It was the last thing I needed to think about. It was reassurance I needed at a crazy time.
10. As of now, my diet is "normal". Which means I don't have to limit myself to a renal-only diet. My dietary numbers are all within range. Meaning, earlier on, I had to eliminate foods primarily containing potassium, phosphorus, and sodium. That includes milk, potatoes, tomatoes, brocoli sodas, chips, etc etc etc. There was a lot to cut out. And, I had to take a phosphate binder pill with every meal. I still limit my sodium. But, I've been eating my Jersey Tomatoes!
11. When I go back to work I'll be starting part time. The relief of being able to integrate back in slowly is so welcomed. I like to jump into things with both feet. And sometimes I find that I've jumped into the deep end. This will force me get back into the groove at a decent pace. I think I can handle everything. But, something tells me there will be more to it than I think.
12. This is a little personal but....I'm able to pee (wee!). Many people with kidney failure can't urinate. Most have to limit how much liquids they consume or else their legs swell and water is retained around the heart and lungs (not good). Though, I am mindful of how much I drink. As of now, I'm not really that concerned.
13. I have an appetite and I can eat anything I want. Wow...Remember when I had the phantom abdominal pains??!! I was in so much pain I couldnt eat anything. Nor did I want to. And to top it off, I was on so much pain meds that I was dizzy. It was all I could do. That's a place I don't want to return to.
14. I have a better understanding of myself and what I am capable of doing. If you told me I could've gone through what I've gone through....and come out feeling the way I do....I'd tell you that you were crazy. In addition, I'm more relaxed. I've got a better understanding of what's important. Not necessary the "big picture". But, when I start getting stressed over something in my daily life I ask myself how important is it. Well, I now have a good measuring stick. I've used it alot.
I'm sure there's more. And there will be more to come. But, I'm just happy to be where I'm at right now. I've been through a lot and I'm looking forward to moving on and getting on with my life. And that doesnt mean putting my illness behind me. It really means learning to live with both the Myeloma and the kidney failure. Understanding it and coping with the daily ups and downs. Doing the treatments and care when it's needed but, not letting it keep me from my goals.
I've actually found that I can use it for motivation. Where before I may have been afraid or hesitant, I now find myself doing things more immediately. I find that I'm more confident. And, I'm more complete as a person. I wish I had gained these attributes in another way. But, I can't change it. This is my life. And, I'm going to live it.
Thanks again for everything. You'all are wonderful. Love ya, Lance
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Now Accepting "Sugar Mama" Applications: Qualified "Boy Toy" seeks "Sugar Mama". I think I've been domesticated. I can cook and clean. I'm fairly handy around the house and I think I'm well qualified in 'other' areas of life. So, if your interested, please submit your qualifications and my people will be in touch with your people.
Ok...so I'm getting ready to go back to work starting Monday 8/27. It'll be nice to contribute again. But, it will be part time. And luckily my Social Security benefits will still cover me for the first 9 months of employment. So, I need not worry for a while. But, after that....who knows. Hence, the Sugar Mama request...LOL. I guess I don't have to think about it for 9 more months. But, things do weigh on the mind. Nine months is a long way off. So, a lot can change between now and then. But if your interested.....
Healthwise everything is going well. My biggest issue of late is getting stuck for dialysis. As you know, I've been using a catherter for the past year for dialysis. Well, starting last Monday, they started sticking my fistula with a needle. Soon it will be two needles. And soon I'll be ridding myself of my catherter. The first needle stick wasnt as bad as I though it would be. So, hopefully it will continue not being bad.
It's amazing! The milestones continue to come and go lately. It's been over a year since problems started happening: suspicious blood work on 7/9/06; potential Myeloma diagnosis and kidney biopsy on 7/19/06; Dialysis starting on 7/27/06; Bone Marrow Biopsy on 8/9/06 and Mylemo confirmation on 8/15/06. And, I began the myeloma treatment on 9/1/06 at Univ of Penn. I don't need a calendar. I can remember every date a year ago when the doctor was telling me something new and something different. It's hard to beleive it's been a year. It seems like yesterday and it seems like forever all in the same breath.
I don't think of things anymore for the most part. Life is what life is. I just go about doing what I gotta do and want to do at this time. It's been pretty good of late. Take care and I hope everyone is enjoying their summers. Hope to talk to you all soon. Love ya's, Lance.
Ok...so I'm getting ready to go back to work starting Monday 8/27. It'll be nice to contribute again. But, it will be part time. And luckily my Social Security benefits will still cover me for the first 9 months of employment. So, I need not worry for a while. But, after that....who knows. Hence, the Sugar Mama request...LOL. I guess I don't have to think about it for 9 more months. But, things do weigh on the mind. Nine months is a long way off. So, a lot can change between now and then. But if your interested.....
Healthwise everything is going well. My biggest issue of late is getting stuck for dialysis. As you know, I've been using a catherter for the past year for dialysis. Well, starting last Monday, they started sticking my fistula with a needle. Soon it will be two needles. And soon I'll be ridding myself of my catherter. The first needle stick wasnt as bad as I though it would be. So, hopefully it will continue not being bad.
It's amazing! The milestones continue to come and go lately. It's been over a year since problems started happening: suspicious blood work on 7/9/06; potential Myeloma diagnosis and kidney biopsy on 7/19/06; Dialysis starting on 7/27/06; Bone Marrow Biopsy on 8/9/06 and Mylemo confirmation on 8/15/06. And, I began the myeloma treatment on 9/1/06 at Univ of Penn. I don't need a calendar. I can remember every date a year ago when the doctor was telling me something new and something different. It's hard to beleive it's been a year. It seems like yesterday and it seems like forever all in the same breath.
I don't think of things anymore for the most part. Life is what life is. I just go about doing what I gotta do and want to do at this time. It's been pretty good of late. Take care and I hope everyone is enjoying their summers. Hope to talk to you all soon. Love ya's, Lance.
